Boy Eating Halloween Flesh Fries. Yechh!

Between the school party and trick or treating, our kids got lots of loot on Halloween. And because we strictly ration their candy consumption, they still have lots of Halloween loot.


A couple days ago, Patrick dug through his bag (the one from the school party, not the trick or treat bag) and found a sealed black plastic bag from one of his classmates. Inside that bag was a wrapped french fries cup that held 5 candy severed human fingers.

Here they are out of the package.

Yechh! Even though they're made of the same gummy stuff they make chewy fruit snacks out of, no one would actually raise one to their mouth and take a bite of it, would they?

No, wait. Oops!

Even kiddom has its limits. One bite is all he took, and so they remain back in the cabinet to this very day.

Takers?

Added: Glenn Walker's French Fry Diary has more on these foul confections here.

Can I Get the Padding in Mauve?

Now that it's official that I'm on board St. Blogustine, I've been given my monk's garb, and writing desk, and shown to my cell.

I had to have my head Photoshopped onto St. Augustine and come up with a personal tag line in Latin, but what to do about the tag line? Since I don't know Latin, I could either coopt a listed saying or motto or run my own concoction through an online translator.

Matt sent word back that he would run the picture I submitted even though my head is too big (which it always has been in the Real World). That's pure inspiration that describes me, and thus became my signature phrase on the front page:

"Meus Caput Capitis Est Nimius Magnus"

(My Head Is Too Big)

All human readers are invited to correct any flaws in the robo translation in the comments or by email.

Update: My friend Todd emailed me this, which I'll go ahead and accept at face value since I know nothing of this subject.

I am a beginning Latin student so take all of this with a grain of salt. Latin uses different "cases" for nouns if they are the subject of a sentence or direct object or indirect object, etc. Caput means head used a subject. Capitis is a possessive meaning of the/my head. Capitis is also second person plural meaning you take or receive. Obviously this was done on purpose to torment Latin students.

Word order in Latin is not terribly important. Latin uses different forms of the word to tell us subject and object, while English more so uses word order. That said, the most common word order is noun adjective verb. For "my head is too big," I suggest Caput meus nimius magnus est. Free advice and worth every penny.

Done. Thanks, Todd!

Popeye vs. Anime

Newer Popeye cartoons have a cheapened, unworked on feel to them compared to the classic Fleischer shorts, and I never got into anime (a.k.a. Japanimation) because it's too oddball to get into. This short captures both of my sentiments.

Tough to be a Christian

I think anyone who's ever been marked as a Christian on the job or in public can relate to this video. It's got an endearing homemade production feel about it, a little camp, and background music reminiscent of those good old Charlie Brown cartoons.

Roll 'em!





Update:

All right, what gives here? I found a different film and cast, same setting and the same exact script. Is this the Joe Biden school of ministry, or what?

Sarah Palin Rocked by Scandal Asked to Resign Ticket

(YOUNGSTOWN, OH) - As admired by conservatives as she is reviled by progressives, Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has recently fallen under heavy scrutiny by the media for her alleged connection to scandals. A source at a campaign stop in Ohio reported Palin was asked to resign the ticket immediately while most recently being rocked by scandal.

At a concert at a political rally, the source overheard Palin being asked to resign the ticket. "Why, of course," she was heard to say, obliging the asker immediately. The name of the asker was not known by the source, but is presumed to be a Palin admirer.

Scandal rocked the entire party during the stop. Reunited after their long hiatus since the 1980s, singer Patti Smyth's band thrilled the audience, satisfying them that Scandal still rocks after all these years.

Palin's conversation with the asker was overheard as follows:

The admirer approached the Alaska governor and requested that she sign his ticket to the benefit concert event. After Palin signed the ticket, he reapproached her apologetically, and said, "Governor Palin, that pen doesn't work. Can you please resign the ticket?"

Palin was then overheard to have said, "Why, of course," and resigned the ticket immediately. The asker, apparently satisfied with her resignation, thanked her and left.

According to the latest polling data among likely voters, McCain and Palin can do practically nothing but chew gum and kick Obama's ass, and they've just run out of gum.

[Click HERE for yet another horrific Sarah Palin scandal.]

If they still made Sesame Street this hilarious...

...I would pledge instantly to switch our children's television staple from Noggin to PBS.



(I'd date this around 1970 or 1971; I remember seeing it as a youngster when it aired originally.)

I was a Preteen Fag

"Fag" was Late-70s/Early-80s youthspeak for nerd, dork, uncool, unpopular, and other such unpleasantries of young life. When I moved to a new school in sixth grade, I left behind the set of friends I'd grown up with and tried to fit into a new locale from scratch.

You were a fag if you had zero talent in sports. You were a fag if you were a boy who carried the style of book bag generally regarded as the girls' bookbag. I did both those things, plus after puberty I was one of the last holdouts in class to practice pre-pubescent hygiene habits, with a little bit of all around dorkiness rolled in for good measure. I was the quintessential fag, and was reminded of that at various times, like when I'd try to poke my nose into a gathering, or look at somebody. Or ignore everyone and keep to my own thoughts. You know, that sort of thing.

"Get away from me, Gleeson, you fag!"

"Shut up, fag! You can't laugh at our jokes."

"You know why nobody likes you? Because you are the biggest fag, that's why!"

A couple times a year, the alma mater sends out a solicitation for a contribution along with a return slip to share personal news with your graduating class in the alumni newsletter. On a whim, I hand lettered a brief statement, mailed it back and forgot about it until I pulled the most recent newsletter from the stack and read it tonight.

It starts out, "Kevin Gleeson is married to Erik."

Oh, what they must think now!

It was a misprint. My wife's name is Erika, but they've never met her. And while there was no Erika in our graduating class, we did have an Erik.