What Barack Should Say (Maybe)

Frankly, for the last twenty years or so, when we're in Hyde Park, we all sleep in on Sundays, so I have no idea what this crazy guy has been shouting from the pulpit. But he was nice when he married Michelle and me, and baptized our kids, and served on my African-American Outreach campaign committee (until recently), and when I consulted him for spiritual (not political or racial) guidance before running for U.S. Senator and President, and when (I now hear) he's boosted my various candidacies from the pulpit, but now I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, to hear some of the racist, anti-American statements he's allegedly made in his services.

When I gave his church over $20,000 last year, I had no idea that it had honored Minister Louis Farrakhan, despite the fact that my daughters are members of the editorial board of the church paper, The Trumpet, that bestowed that honor. (I don't get a chance to talk to them much, either.)

Meanwhile, one of my favorite songs remains, Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud, by James Brown, but that's not one of my campaign platforms, because I have the audacity to hope for change and unity and to bring us all together, which makes Kumbaya one of my other favorite songs.

While I have personally assured Dr. Wright and Minister Farrakhan that one of my first acts as President will be to have them visit the White House for a prayer breakfast, I will also invite the top Jew and the top Catholic here to also attend (once I find out who they are). Good luck trying to figure out that menu (lol)!

If I am fortunate enough to have that happen, I can assure you that Michelle will be proud of the United States for the second time in her adult life.